Hope and Heartache Together

Dhruv and Khushi both are my friends. They got married this January and I attended their wedding. I have witnessed their love grow in these years.

I felt immense joy for these two beautiful souls

They have faced some serious challenges in their life. I’m not talking about the kind of challenges two people face when they are in love and plan to get married. The kind of challenges they faced were the ones that can change the whole course of life. Khushi was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. This led her to tell her parents about having Dhruv in her life.

Khushi went through the medical procedures and other processes that followed and it took her months to recover. Dhruv was by her side in all this. He took charge of everything - doctor visits, hospitalisation, post-operative visits and care. I witnessed it all.

And then the news came - they are getting married. Dhruv told me very seriously, “You have to be there. I don’t want to hear any excuses.”

And I made plans to be there. It was a beautiful wedding. They both looked gorgeous and in love. Seeing them happy made me happy too. I was super thrilled for them. There was barat (procession), the varmala (garland exchange) and the rituals and I attended them all. Indian weddings are full of rituals. 

Seeing all this I felt immense joy for these two beautiful souls but I also felt something else. I felt an emptiness inside me. I took a deep breath and tried to locate the feeling in the body. It was in my heart. I wanted to understand what it was. And they showed up. A deep loss and a great grief. 

There was a genuine happiness for the couple, but also an underlying sadness for what was lost in my own life. Exactly a year ago, I went through a painful break up. And seeing my friends getting married and taking vows to be together forever, I wished I had experienced the same. The togetherness and belonging - a feeling I have also been longing for.

Feeling happy and sad at the same time - Do you know what is this called?

It’s called complicated joy.

It often shows up in moments of transition, healing, and growth - when happiness is present but doesn’t stand alone. It’s layered, nuanced, and sometimes bittersweet.

Here happiness and sadness intertwine in a way that’s hard to separate.

I smiled, laughed, and enjoyed the celebration. Dhruv and Khushi’s love, commitment, and excitement remind me of what love can be. At the same time, it stirred emotions about my own past relationship. It reminded me of what I thought I’d have, what I lost, or what never fully materialized.

It was Hope and Heartache Together.

And it was hard.

I knew I had to feel my feelings.

I knew it’s okay to feel both joy and sadness at the same time.

And I want you to know that a psychologist doesn’t live a different life. I am human, I feel all the emotions.

So whenever joy and sadness show up for you together, know this - you don’t have to choose just one. It’s okay to feel both at the same time

You’re grieving, and grief shows up in unexpected ways. Even if you have moved forward, reminders can bring emotions back.

This doesn’t mean you’re not healing. Feeling something doesn’t mean you’re stuck—it means you’re human.

You can still celebrate without denying your emotions. If you need a moment alone, take it. If you want to lean into the joy, do it. Honor both feelings. Just like I did.